I intended to post this about two weeks ago, but I suppose better late than never, right? I completed my summer fellowship with ArtWorks for Youth on Friday and had much on which to reflect. My final reflections are below.
If I could capture what I have witnessed and experienced with the young women of Sister’s Keeper over the past several weeks in one word, it would be this: growth. I began on a journey with Zukiswa(the local program coordinator) and these young women not knowing what to expect, but with a hope that upon sharing my skills and passions with this community, I would leave them better equipped to face the world around them than when we first met. This has neither been an easy nor a perfect process to say the least, but through daily sessions that brought about a combination of laughter, anger, sadness, and vulnerability, these girls have begun to find strength and support within themselves and amongst each other.
As I mentioned in one of my earlier posts, based on preliminary interviews and observations, we decided to craft a program the week after I arrived around key themes we identified as important to work on based on the needs of the young ladies. The first few weeks were dedicated to developing and strengthening Trust, Communication, and Support, the later weeks were then primarily focused on Self-Esteem, Confidence, and working through different types of Abuse that were known to affect those two themes, then devote the remainder of the program activities that nurtured Leadership and Empowerment. When we started working on Self-Esteem, Confidence, and Abuse, we consulted Dove’s Activity Guide on Self-Esteem for young teenagers as a basic framework for organizing the sessions into three categories: My Shell, My Image, and My Feelings. By using and developing activities that fit within these three categories, we hoped the young women would have the opportunity to express how their bodies, emotional attitudes, and psychological perceptions had either individually or collectively affected their self-esteem and confidence. Among other things, we asked them to cut images and words from magazines that reflected how they viewed themselves, write about moments when they had been either encouraged or hurt by another young woman in the group, write poems about what they liked and disliked about their bodies, and recall moments in their lives that deeply angered, saddened them or gave them hope. Some of these activities were particularly emotionally and psychologically difficult for some, but they proved to be necessary catalysts for transformation. Below are a few of the more transformative moments that I would like to share.
Circle of Feelings
I summoned the girls to the circle and before we began, I asked them to do something a little different from our usual routine. Instead of beginning with our “memorable moments” segment of the session or our warm-ups, I asked that they close their eyes, hold hands, and meditate. Some had heard of meditation, others hadn’t, and others knew it by another name, but it was important that for today’s session, we set the tone for a space of stillness and support. We had made enough progress on developing trust, communication, and support within the group that the time had come for the girls to dig a little deeper. Zukiswa and I both had the opportunity to participate in a similar activity in separate workshops of which we had been a part and knew what could happen if the ladies were ready to be vulnerable. We decided to call this activity “Circle of Feelings” to continue our work through the “My Feelings” portion of the self-esteem and confidence exercises. In the center of the circle were three objects: a stone, a stick, and a leaf. We explained to the girls that each object represented a feeling. The stone represented sadness, the stick represented anger, and the leaf represented hope. After meditating, the girls were asked to think about moments in their lives that made them the most angry, sad, or hopeful. If they felt so impressed, they were then asked to move inside the circle, pick up the feeling they wanted to express, and share that within the space. While holding hands, the sister’s circle would then respond in unison with the following phrase: “We feel you.”
There were no other activities planned for the day because we needed enough time for the girls to be able to share, but also to leave space for silence so they could sit with their feelings and that of their peers. We began and the initial revelations only skimmed the surface. The young women spoke of teachers and friends that at one point or another made them angry or sad. Then after a brief moment of silence, the mood changed. For the next hour, these young women trusted the space they created and began to share some of their deepest secrets, from witnessing physical abuse in their homes between their parents, drug abuse by family members, being survivors of sexual abuse, to how much being abandoned by a parent has profoundly impacted their interactions with others. Some also spoke of hope that they found in each other, in the friends and family that loved them, and in the God they believed would never abandon them. The collective “We feel you” gave them the opportunity to find strength and support through solidarity. No eyes were dry that evening when we closed the session, including my own. There were few words exchanged after we formally closed the session, but the endless hugs and tears across the room spoke more than words ever could. Some allowed their tears to flow as if they were making up for all the other times they kept their feelings bottled inside.
We had a breakthrough moment that day. The degree to which these young women shared with and supported each other was a testament to the fact that we had finally reached a point in the program where the girls were beginning to trust each other and the space in earnest. This moment would set the tone for all other activities moving forward.
Poems of Beauty
We had spent enough time focusing on the “My Feelings” portion of our self-esteem and confidence exercises, so I asked the girls to redirect their focus to the “My Shell” aspect of themselves. We underwent the Circle of Feelings activity the week before so I thought we had gathered enough momentum to continue to dig a little deeper. This time, I asked the girls to think and write about two things: the first was about some physical aspect(s) about themselves that they strongly liked and the second was a physical aspect about themselves they did not like or did not like as strongly. Based on what they wrote, I then asked them to write a self-affirming poem that incorporated those two aspects about themselves. They were especially encouraged to write a poem to themselves that included words they wished they had heard when they felt the least confident about any physical part of themselves. Once they finished, I told them that we were going to have a poetry session and that each person would be responsible for sharing their poem with the group in an “open mic-style” session. Below are a few of the poems that the girls wrote.
If I could capture what I have witnessed and experienced with the young women of Sister’s Keeper over the past several weeks in one word, it would be this: growth. I began on a journey with Zukiswa(the local program coordinator) and these young women not knowing what to expect, but with a hope that upon sharing my skills and passions with this community, I would leave them better equipped to face the world around them than when we first met. This has neither been an easy nor a perfect process to say the least, but through daily sessions that brought about a combination of laughter, anger, sadness, and vulnerability, these girls have begun to find strength and support within themselves and amongst each other.
As I mentioned in one of my earlier posts, based on preliminary interviews and observations, we decided to craft a program the week after I arrived around key themes we identified as important to work on based on the needs of the young ladies. The first few weeks were dedicated to developing and strengthening Trust, Communication, and Support, the later weeks were then primarily focused on Self-Esteem, Confidence, and working through different types of Abuse that were known to affect those two themes, then devote the remainder of the program activities that nurtured Leadership and Empowerment. When we started working on Self-Esteem, Confidence, and Abuse, we consulted Dove’s Activity Guide on Self-Esteem for young teenagers as a basic framework for organizing the sessions into three categories: My Shell, My Image, and My Feelings. By using and developing activities that fit within these three categories, we hoped the young women would have the opportunity to express how their bodies, emotional attitudes, and psychological perceptions had either individually or collectively affected their self-esteem and confidence. Among other things, we asked them to cut images and words from magazines that reflected how they viewed themselves, write about moments when they had been either encouraged or hurt by another young woman in the group, write poems about what they liked and disliked about their bodies, and recall moments in their lives that deeply angered, saddened them or gave them hope. Some of these activities were particularly emotionally and psychologically difficult for some, but they proved to be necessary catalysts for transformation. Below are a few of the more transformative moments that I would like to share.
Circle of Feelings
I summoned the girls to the circle and before we began, I asked them to do something a little different from our usual routine. Instead of beginning with our “memorable moments” segment of the session or our warm-ups, I asked that they close their eyes, hold hands, and meditate. Some had heard of meditation, others hadn’t, and others knew it by another name, but it was important that for today’s session, we set the tone for a space of stillness and support. We had made enough progress on developing trust, communication, and support within the group that the time had come for the girls to dig a little deeper. Zukiswa and I both had the opportunity to participate in a similar activity in separate workshops of which we had been a part and knew what could happen if the ladies were ready to be vulnerable. We decided to call this activity “Circle of Feelings” to continue our work through the “My Feelings” portion of the self-esteem and confidence exercises. In the center of the circle were three objects: a stone, a stick, and a leaf. We explained to the girls that each object represented a feeling. The stone represented sadness, the stick represented anger, and the leaf represented hope. After meditating, the girls were asked to think about moments in their lives that made them the most angry, sad, or hopeful. If they felt so impressed, they were then asked to move inside the circle, pick up the feeling they wanted to express, and share that within the space. While holding hands, the sister’s circle would then respond in unison with the following phrase: “We feel you.”
There were no other activities planned for the day because we needed enough time for the girls to be able to share, but also to leave space for silence so they could sit with their feelings and that of their peers. We began and the initial revelations only skimmed the surface. The young women spoke of teachers and friends that at one point or another made them angry or sad. Then after a brief moment of silence, the mood changed. For the next hour, these young women trusted the space they created and began to share some of their deepest secrets, from witnessing physical abuse in their homes between their parents, drug abuse by family members, being survivors of sexual abuse, to how much being abandoned by a parent has profoundly impacted their interactions with others. Some also spoke of hope that they found in each other, in the friends and family that loved them, and in the God they believed would never abandon them. The collective “We feel you” gave them the opportunity to find strength and support through solidarity. No eyes were dry that evening when we closed the session, including my own. There were few words exchanged after we formally closed the session, but the endless hugs and tears across the room spoke more than words ever could. Some allowed their tears to flow as if they were making up for all the other times they kept their feelings bottled inside.
We had a breakthrough moment that day. The degree to which these young women shared with and supported each other was a testament to the fact that we had finally reached a point in the program where the girls were beginning to trust each other and the space in earnest. This moment would set the tone for all other activities moving forward.
Poems of Beauty
We had spent enough time focusing on the “My Feelings” portion of our self-esteem and confidence exercises, so I asked the girls to redirect their focus to the “My Shell” aspect of themselves. We underwent the Circle of Feelings activity the week before so I thought we had gathered enough momentum to continue to dig a little deeper. This time, I asked the girls to think and write about two things: the first was about some physical aspect(s) about themselves that they strongly liked and the second was a physical aspect about themselves they did not like or did not like as strongly. Based on what they wrote, I then asked them to write a self-affirming poem that incorporated those two aspects about themselves. They were especially encouraged to write a poem to themselves that included words they wished they had heard when they felt the least confident about any physical part of themselves. Once they finished, I told them that we were going to have a poetry session and that each person would be responsible for sharing their poem with the group in an “open mic-style” session. Below are a few of the poems that the girls wrote.
Oh My Important
Body (age 13)
Oh my important body!!
Do you know that I love you??
I’ll always love you because you
Are the most important thing I’ve ever had.
I’ll never abuse you because you never abused me.
Oh my important body!!
I’d like you to know that,
Loving you was the second best thing I’ve ever done in the world,
Because finding you was the first.
So I’ll always love you forever because God created you in his purpose
Oh my perfect body in its place!!
Oh God Bless You forever!!!
Poem about Myself (age 12)
Look at how beautiful your body is
How the world shakes at every step you take,
How beautiful and big your eyes are,
And how your nose seems to open all up whenever you’re angry.
Beautiful…
Look at how tall you are,
And how beautiful and dark your skin is.
Beautiful…
What a Natural Girl
(age 14)
What a natural girl,
Look at those big two teeth you have, those juicy lips
The eyes that I can see who you are, you are beautiful
What a natural girl that God has made,
The custard skin with pimples like strawberries,
Oh she’s so tall she could reach the top of the door,
Oh those big feet she has,
She’s beautiful no matter what. God made you for a purpose, you natural
girl.
God loves you.
I am the Pretty
Girl (age 14)
I am the pretty girl,
But some say I’m not.
When I look at myself, I see a bright light,
That one day people will get to see,
A beautiful flower that is me.
Yes, a beautiful flower inside of me…
Pretty, young beautiful girl is me.
The writing of these poems were a great activity for the
girls. They not only provided insight into how they thought of their bodies,
but also provided them with positive messages that they could always refer to whenever
they needed additional encouragement.
Women’s Day
On August 9, South Africa celebrated National Women’s Day. It is a day set apart from other holidays in South Africa to honor and celebrate the ordinary and extraordinary contributions of South African women to the country’s history and society. Since it was a national holiday, the girls did not have school that day and given all the work that we had been doing in Sister’s Keeper in celebrating and supporting each other, I thought it all the more appropriate for us to commemorate this day in a special way. Zukiswa and I decided that the girls were going to have a day trip! The first part of the day would be spent at the Thuthuzela Care Centre of Dora Nginza Hospital, one of the larger public hospitals in Port Elizabeth, named after one of the few black South African nurses in the 1920s and 1930s. The second half of the day would be spent out in nature at a local park reserve where the girls would have the opportunity to further bond with each other as teenage young women.
Thuthuzela Centre Visit
The Thuthuzela Centre at Dora Nginza is just one of about 53 others like it that offer comprehensive support to survivors of rape. We decided that while at Thuthuzela, the girls were going to donate a few gifts to the centre and later learn from the mostly female staff members at the centre about their profession and the steps they took to pursue their respective careers. We thought above all, it was important for the girls to learn two things during that visit: 1. Despite their economic circumstances, they had the capacity to serve others in their community and 2. There are real steps they can take to make their dreams a reality.
Over the course of several of our Sister’s Keeper sessions, Zukiswa had been working with the girls on creating a quilt that would ultimately be filled with positive messages of love and inspiration. Each of the girls were in charge of writing their own message on their section of the quilt and once they were all finished, Zukiswa would sew it altogether for the final product. The second gift was a collection of all of their poems that they had written during our “Poems of Beauty” session.
When we arrived, the Director of Thuthuzela was ready to receive us. She provided the girls with an information session on all of the work of the centre and also challenged them to educate themselves about South Africa’s laws on rape and options they have available to them if ever they are survivors of rape. The girls then offered their presentations of the gifts, complete with a rehearsed introduction about the work of ArtWorks for Youth, Sister’s Keeper, and their reason for the girls’ visit to the center the center. The Director also asked one of the girls to recite their poem that they had written and was so touched by what she had heard that she asked for each of the girls to recite their poems.
On August 9, South Africa celebrated National Women’s Day. It is a day set apart from other holidays in South Africa to honor and celebrate the ordinary and extraordinary contributions of South African women to the country’s history and society. Since it was a national holiday, the girls did not have school that day and given all the work that we had been doing in Sister’s Keeper in celebrating and supporting each other, I thought it all the more appropriate for us to commemorate this day in a special way. Zukiswa and I decided that the girls were going to have a day trip! The first part of the day would be spent at the Thuthuzela Care Centre of Dora Nginza Hospital, one of the larger public hospitals in Port Elizabeth, named after one of the few black South African nurses in the 1920s and 1930s. The second half of the day would be spent out in nature at a local park reserve where the girls would have the opportunity to further bond with each other as teenage young women.
Thuthuzela Centre Visit
The Thuthuzela Centre at Dora Nginza is just one of about 53 others like it that offer comprehensive support to survivors of rape. We decided that while at Thuthuzela, the girls were going to donate a few gifts to the centre and later learn from the mostly female staff members at the centre about their profession and the steps they took to pursue their respective careers. We thought above all, it was important for the girls to learn two things during that visit: 1. Despite their economic circumstances, they had the capacity to serve others in their community and 2. There are real steps they can take to make their dreams a reality.
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| Sister's Keeper girls with Thuthuzela Staff |
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| 14 year old Babalwa reciting her poem "What a Natural Girl" |
When we arrived, the Director of Thuthuzela was ready to receive us. She provided the girls with an information session on all of the work of the centre and also challenged them to educate themselves about South Africa’s laws on rape and options they have available to them if ever they are survivors of rape. The girls then offered their presentations of the gifts, complete with a rehearsed introduction about the work of ArtWorks for Youth, Sister’s Keeper, and their reason for the girls’ visit to the center the center. The Director also asked one of the girls to recite their poem that they had written and was so touched by what she had heard that she asked for each of the girls to recite their poems.
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| 14 year old Yolanda reciting her poem |
A Day in Nature
We spent the entire morning at Thuthuzela and began our adventures in the park in the afternoon. It had begun to rain, so I told the girls that I was fine with us cutting this part of our trip short if they didn’t want to be cold and wet(remember, it’s winter in South Africa!). They shut down that option pretty quickly and told me that they not only wanted to spend the afternoon walking in the rain, but co-signed the proposition of camping out in the park for the night. We didn’t get to camp out overnight, but boy did they enjoy exploring the terrain of the rugged outdoors. We were led by a friend of the program who often went to this park as a child, and she led us literally through rivers and valleys as the girls marched with fervor and sang at the top of their lungs a host of songs, from local gospel songs, to songs by Rihanna and Luther Vandross. They enjoyed being with each other that day, but most importantly, they embraced the freedom of being the carefree and happy teenage girls they always deserve to be.
We spent the entire morning at Thuthuzela and began our adventures in the park in the afternoon. It had begun to rain, so I told the girls that I was fine with us cutting this part of our trip short if they didn’t want to be cold and wet(remember, it’s winter in South Africa!). They shut down that option pretty quickly and told me that they not only wanted to spend the afternoon walking in the rain, but co-signed the proposition of camping out in the park for the night. We didn’t get to camp out overnight, but boy did they enjoy exploring the terrain of the rugged outdoors. We were led by a friend of the program who often went to this park as a child, and she led us literally through rivers and valleys as the girls marched with fervor and sang at the top of their lungs a host of songs, from local gospel songs, to songs by Rihanna and Luther Vandross. They enjoyed being with each other that day, but most importantly, they embraced the freedom of being the carefree and happy teenage girls they always deserve to be.
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| Me trying to keep up with the girls |
We ended the day with a debrief upon our return back to Joe Slovo and among the many reflections on the activities of the day, some of the girls described this day as the best day of their lives. They couldn’t stop talking about this trip for days. I knew they had an unforgettable experience that day---so did I.
Sowing Seeds
I may be at the end of my journey with these ladies, but this is in many ways just the beginning of a new journey for them. There still remain so many unknown variables over which neither they nor I have control. There could be a whole host of social, economic, and physical factors that could favorably or unfavorably alter the course of their lives as it is. I do not know what the future holds for these girls and I am not naïve about the challenges these girls will likely continue to face, but I am convinced that if they build on all the work they were able to do with Sister’s Keeper this summer, they will be that much closer to finding strength within to confront their daily challenges and fight for the full life they deserve.
It would certainly be cool to continue along this journey with them just a little longer, but Lord knows I have to graduate and I guess find myself a JOB! Seriously though, these young women have captured a special place in my heart and I sincerely thank them for not only allowing me to enter their world, but also for teaching me more than I think they’ll ever know.
So in honor of my final post of the summer and the beautiful flowers and princesses that challenged my mind and captured my heart, I leave you all with these powerful words in song by none other than Ms. India Arie.
It would certainly be cool to continue along this journey with them just a little longer, but Lord knows I have to graduate and I guess find myself a JOB! Seriously though, these young women have captured a special place in my heart and I sincerely thank them for not only allowing me to enter their world, but also for teaching me more than I think they’ll ever know.
So in honor of my final post of the summer and the beautiful flowers and princesses that challenged my mind and captured my heart, I leave you all with these powerful words in song by none other than Ms. India Arie.
Beautiful Flowers of Sister’s Keeper, this one’s for you!!
Peace and much love folks!
Marissa Davis
Master in Public Policy Candidate
Harvard Kennedy School
Peace and much love folks!
Marissa Davis
Master in Public Policy Candidate
Harvard Kennedy School
